How to Ask Your Partner if Opening the Relationship Could be Right for You

Dearest Partner,

I love our relationship. I feel secure and comfortable with where we are but also feel like I still have a drive towards meeting new people and having sexual encounters with others besides you. I hope that I don’t trigger you by saying this as I am still very attracted to you and love the way we connect physically.

Recently, though, I’ve been reading about and researching non-monogamy. The “open” relationship lifestyle comes in many forms and can progress at a variety of speeds, all dictated by the rules you and I can decide on together. These can look like us playing together as a couple with other couples or singles, you and me dating people separately, or even having other relationships along-side this one.

Since neither of us has any experience with this topic, I was hoping we could read some articles or books together that could lead to some in-depth conversations about how we feel about what we’ve learned. Perhaps we can find a relationship coach who can help guide us in a trial exploration. If we do this, I’d like it to be an adventure we’re both into and can share as a team.

I promise to be honest, to share my feelings and needs, and to listen to you with an open mind when you state yours. No pressure, but I’m really hoping we can discuss this further over a glass of wine and dinner.

Yours primarily,