Book Reviews

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Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel

Perel shares her amazement about how much people are willing to experiment sexually while they are single or outside of their relationship parameters. She mocks the often puritanical nature of sex within the marriage bed, especially once the honeymoon has worn off or once the couple become parents. Years later, at their wit’s end, couples who seek counseling plead for some solution that will rejuvenate their lost connection. Though they seem committed to “making things work,” many find themselves stuck behind a veil of stress, anxiety, insecurity, work, and children, to name a few. At this stage, working on the relationship, or working on their sex life can feel like one more chore.“In our erotic life, work does not work…trying is always trying too hard. We glorify efficiency and...

The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin, Ph.D.

Morin talks about the goal of being a “self-actualizer.” This is a person who is comfortable with his or her self, is relatively free of the constriction of past conflicts, and who sees challenges as fostering growth with creative energy and fire. Self-actualizers have peak experiences more often than their counterparts, who may still have some self-trust and love to develop. By examining the sexual and emotional experiences and trends of your past, Morin shows how you can manipulate your “erotic equation,” the elements that tend to make you the most aroused, to seek out and execute more satisfying sexual encounters. For most, the basic equation looks like this: Attraction + Obstacles = Excitement Which of the following Obstacles might have an extra zing for you? Longing or...

Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski

Perel shares her amazement about how much people are willing to experiment sexually while they are single or outside of their relationship parameters. She mocks the often puritanical nature of sex within the marriage bed, especially once the honeymoon has worn off or once the couple become parents. Years later, at their wit’s end, couples who seek counseling plead for some solution that will rejuvenate their lost connection. Though they seem committed to “making things work,” many find themselves stuck behind a veil of stress, anxiety, insecurity, work, and children, to name a few. At this stage, working on the relationship, or working on their sex life can feel like one more chore.“In our erotic life, work does not work…trying is always trying too hard. We glorify efficiency and...

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