Tantric Sexual Foreplay
What is Tanta?
Relationships require communication.
It’s a Hindu or Buddhist mystical text from the 7th century or earlier that outlines the principles and rituals of meditation, yoga, and sexuality.
- ‘The weaving and expansion of energy’
- Not goal-oriented or orgasm focused
- Seeks to make foreplay enjoyable and rewarding in and of itself
Set the Mood
- Turn down the lights to the rest of the world.
- Loosen your body by stretching, shaking out your limbs, or dancing together to start.
- Begin in an active pose: standing, sitting upright with limbs ready for use, core engaged.
You don’t have to stay off the bed but you can start in new and unexpected places: up against a table or wall, in a doorway, as if you are taking a moment from your natural movements but then being caught in a sudden thought of arousal. Notice your lover’s stance, the shape of the body in motion or rest. See how every action and change in position can be enticing and calling to you.
Maybe you start on opposite ends of the room. Imagine you are entangled in some banal daily activity until one or the other catches the glimpse of something enticing. Can you see the outline of her breast? Is his butt flexed and tight? Maybe she’s bending over a table, engaged in some kitchen project. Perhaps you’re wiggling your hips a bit trying to think through some work-related email questions. Every moment, each shape of your moving or resting body can be active, shapely, beautiful to another’s eyes, no matter what you’re doing. What if you can use this shared proximity to build tension in the void? “We’re clearly busy but wanting can be the lube that tickles the day. I’m willing to wait but I want to show that I’m open and excited for whenever the mood should incline you.”
And when your eyes do catch, and the smiles come naturally, you intuitively feel that it’s time for a break from real life. Without words, slowing your breath, you let your bodies make the requests. The chest leans in, an arm extends, a toe points the way, the eyes search, the lips quiver towards your partner slowly, naturally, with longing but without agenda.
She’s leaning up against her desk, looking back at you, when you come up behind her. Chest to back, arms coiled, energy merging, breath connected, two bodies join in time and space, seeking respite. Defenses down, open, willing, the energy from within activates, moves, travels through one body and touches the other. Sparks fly in between you though it’s happening in the underground, in the subconscious, where your hidden mojo makers plot or are thwarted and right now they are dancing in triumph, pulling you toward your lover’s skin, as if the life force that begins there is the only force left in the universe worth paying attention to, at least for right now.
Bodies connected, clothes on, broad daylight, your hand comes up her neck to grab her hair in your fist. You smell her. It occurs to you that you don’t stop to inhale her nearly enough. You move her body from in front of the desk to up against the nearest wall. There you press yourself up against her, coming closer and pulling away, a little with each breath. Her inhales deepen and her midsection starts to move with yours. From the wall, you lead her again, into the hallway and toward the bedroom. You pick her up, wrap her legs around your waist and pause in the next doorway for another moment. You kiss her and your tongues move together but slowly, intently. Keeping eye contact and synchronized breathing, you kiss for what seems like ages. You can’t remember the last time you enjoyed kissing so much.